Doris Liebert

Remembering Doris by Wayne Schoenfeld-

Doris Liebert passed away last Sunday. I'd known her my entire life. With 60 years of knowing her I
was certain that I'd be able to sit down and easily draw on the right words and thoughts to speak
about Doris today. But, when I sat down to prepare, I found myself speechless. I procrastinated. I
turned to poetry, to art to find the inspiration. And then, when I was all but completely
discouraged with the inadequacy of my own vocabulary, I stumbled upon a quote that express exactly
what I had been trying to say.
"Spread love everywhere you go: first of all in your own house. Give love to your children, to your
husband, to a next door neighbor... Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier.
Be the living expression of God's kindness; kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness
in your smile, kindness in your warm greeting."
This is the essence of the Doris that I've known.
It's an irony, or perhaps a memorial, that Doris should have passed on Mother's day. For no one
could ask for a more caring or a more giving mother. Doris gave her heart without condition and
whenever her children, or her grandchildren would hit one of life's inevitable speed bumps, she
would give or share whatever else she had. No need for explanation, there were no judgements, only a
mother's healing embrace. On every Mother's day from now on, Doris will be in my thoughts- Mother's
day, a memorial, a celebration of her kindness and gentility.
I've been blessed with having the opportunity to travel a great deal in my life. No one was more
interested than Doris. Doris had an insatiable curiosity about foreign lands and, though she never
had the opportunity to travel herself, she watched television travel programs and became so involved
that vicariously, it was as though she'd been there herself. Many a time I remember beginning to
tell her about where I'd been only to be interrupted by Doris' response, "Oh yes! I've been there."
And then here eyes would light up and she's tell me all about where I'd been. Doris had such
overwhelming responsibility as a wife, mother, and grandmother, and friend. life would never grant
her the leisure or means to follow or even acknowledge her own personal dreams, only to follow her
heart and to be there for the people she loved. It was a blessing that she could so vividly imagine
a life that was freer and without limitation.
The loss of my father was a devastating blow to my mother. Though he was ill for some time, death is
always unexpected, always a shock. My mother's sorrow, pain, and loss were beyond her coping and she
sank into a profound depression. Her own friends began to draw away. I tried to be supportive, but
after all I was her son. But then there was Doris, gentle, non-judgmental and available. She became
my mother's companion, confidant- her buddy. Doris was my mother's bridge back from the depths of
her depression and loneliness. For this alone, Doris would always be in my heart.
The last time I saw Doris was about three weeks ago. I have a pictures of her I took that day in my
cell phone. She;s smiling, all made up and as cute as you can look in a hospital bed. These last few
years have been a physical struggle, Doris was on the brink many times, but you'd never know it to
talk to her. She was always cheerful, interested in everything I was doing, grateful for every phone
call or card or though, she was the living expression of God's kindness; kindness in her face,
kindness in her eyes, kindness in her smiles, and kindness in her warm greeting. I never spoke to
Doris without feeling better and happier.
And so, on every Mother's day I will think of Doris and remember her quiet courage and good will and
her delicate smile and I will be joyous knowing that Doris' generosity of spirit lives on in her
daughter. Cathy, whose courage, selflessness and dedication was a daily support to her mother for
all of these last few trying years. And who with the love and support of her family, her husband
Mike and children Justin and Cameron, was able to invest the time and effort to secure Doris the
finest of physical and medical care to ease her last days.
There's a Jewish proverb, "God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers."
Doris we all love you and will miss you.